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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the safe haven for daily publications, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and milestones, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame playing for City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|